Your worth in weight

I can’t stop thinking about this blog that I read today (GO Margarita! I love your blog!!!). In the blog Margarita says a part of her feels that her worth in the universe is measured in pounds. She goes on to question if she will always be plagued by the thought of calorie burning and forbidden foods. She compares once-being-overweight to once- an-alcoholic and wonders if she will always be in recovery. I can relate to this blog on so many levels!!! Now, I do not have an “overweight” problem but I do have a “weight/ image” problem, meaning, I am obsessed with it! I think about weight, calories, being fit, working out, my thighs, cellulite, and what I should and should not eat, All. The. Time. I have become obsessed and it is making me miserable!

Margarita was unhappy with her body so she has made a transformation in the way she lives. She goes to the gym every morning and she has changed her diet. I am unhappy with my body but I have done NOTHING to change it. I go to the gym on average twice a week and I have yet to give up the mini chocolate bars that I inhale after my chicken and veggies dinner. HB and I tend to live a semi healthy lifestyle. Egg white omelets for breakfast, turkey sandwich or a salad for lunch, chicken at least 4 nights a week... We have substituted ground turkey for ground beef…you will never find white bread in our house…we drink LOTS of water…I take the stairs at work - Overall we are healthy but I haven't lost one pound.

I, like Margarita, have that deep feeling in my gut that SCREAMS that my worth is measured in pounds. Or better yet, muscle vs. cellulite. I don’t go by weight because I am only a few pounds heavier than I was when I was in great shape. I may be only a few pounds heavier but I am a size larger, my clothes don’t fit as well, and my thighs jiggle more than ever before. I am obsessed with the way I look – and not in a can’t stop admiring myself, way. I am obsessed in a count every calorie, hate to be naked, scold myself for days after eating pizza, cringe while putting on a swimsuit, would make myself vomit if I didn’t hate to do it, kind of way. But yet, I didn’t go to the gym this morning and probably will not go tonight. It is a vicious cycle and I need a pint of ice cream to get over it.

Oh, and the worst part, HB and I are having a lake party for the 4^th. Our hometown friends are coming. One of them is 5’5, 105 pounds and the type of girl who will point out the dimples on my thighs - only she will do it behind my back. FUN! Maybe the stress of it all will help me shed a few pounds!!!! ;-)

The Friday Feeling

Ahhhhh Fridays. I tingle with excitement and feel like I am back in elementary school when Friday rolls around. It's my day to eat hamburgers, pizza, cupcakes and snow cones without consequence. It's a day for slumber parties and staying up late. It's movie night with a bucket of popcorn and Milk Duds. People go on dates or have an extra long happy hour with their friends and coworkers. Work attire is casual and the day ends around 2:00. Everyone tends to be happier on Fridays. I LOVE FRIDAYS!

In honor of my love of Friday's I am going to start a new Friday theme. An, "I want" theme. A "gift idea" theme. A "travel idea" theme. A "fantasy" theme. It will be casual, light hearted and fun...just like Fridays!

Today I am going to list a few things I want for my birthday. Now, my birthday is over a month away BUT HB needs weeks of hints and weeks to get over the sticker price. You see, HB's birthday is on Christmas Day so he doesn't really believe in above and beyond, unbelievable, knock your socks off, birthday gifts. But, I do! For HB's birthday I got him a Mac Mini. I went above and beyond. I knocked his socks off. So here is my list:

Unbelievable gift #1: A bike. I've wanted to get into biking for a while now. From what I read, this bike is perfect for beginners. My favorite thing about it (besides the cute color) is that it doesn't have the pedals that lock your feet in - those freak me out!!! Hopefully I will be able to work my way up to them.

Above and Beyond gift #2: 2.4 GHz MacBook. Who doesn't want a Mac? They are beyond awesome. This is a little unreasonable for a birthday gift and I considered not putting it on here at all. But, I classified it as "above and beyond" and threw it on the list. Honestly, I would be just as happy with the bike or the jewelry.

Knock Your Socks Off gift #3: Any of these rings. This Cushion-Cut Sapphire is gorgeous and perfectly dainty for my tiny fingers. Or this stunning Emerald ring that has a delicate antique look. And, I keep going back to this simple and classy Sapphire ring. And finally, there will always be a place in my heart for the Yurman ring that I have drooled over for the past six months.

There it is, my Fabulous Friday list. I would love to hear what's on your fabulous Friday list.

Have a great Friday,

D. S.

I have Neglected...

I have severely neglected this blog. I am shocked to realize that it has been over a month since I last posted! My last post was a sad one...since then, the President of our company passed away and so has an adorable little girl, Cate. My heart aches for both families. I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. Sometimes life it too hard.

HB and I went to Mexico and had a great time. No, Kellicious, I didn't get the Yurman ring, but maybe one day. Our trip was wonderful but not nearly long enough - are they ever, though?! Since our trip life has been crazy. I am sure everyone can relate. My work load has tripled, HB started his PMBA program, attended a funeral and a graduation, we bought a new boat, traveled for business, had a WWIII'ish argument with family members, and somehow managed to have at least one date night a week. Hopefully the rest of the summer will be a bit more low key.

Today I am sharing some pictures of the things that have kept me busy during the past month. Hopefully the next post will be more Sassy! Have a great afternoon!
This is my adorable dog!!!