I Remeber...

And I will never forget. I may be extremely busy and slightly worried about Ike's arrival but the memories of what happened 7 years ago are with me. I am thinking of all Americans, espcially New Yorkers, and all of those who lost loved ones. I love this Country and I will never forget. God bless the U.S.A.

IKE!

I do not like this! I am super busy preparing our house and trying to finish up some work before evacuations begin. GRRRRRR IKE!

Poozer Comes to Town

My niece came to visit this weekend. I hadn’t seen her in almost 2 months and I was very lonesome. She has changed so much! The first thing I noticed is that she has developed an adorable personality. She smiles constantly (unless you put a camera in her face!) and babbles more or more each day. She is calm but has a short temper. I quickly noticed how mobile she has become. She scrawls (a combination of a scoot and a crawl) everywhere and loves to run in her walker (ironically). My Mom and I took her on her first trip to Toy R Us. I think Mom and I were more excited than the Poozer. While we loaded a cart with fun, educational toys, Poozer was fascinated by the other children in the store. She smiled at every baby that passed by and tried to grab a few toddlers cruising on tricycles. Once we got home, she sat on the floor intrigued with each brightly colored, noise fun filled toy. She studied, tasted, and laughed at each of them. I enjoyed every second I spent with her.

Poozer’s tantrum free visit left me with a feeling I cannot allow myself to have for another 3 years. I must ignore this feeling! I desperately want this feeling to disappear. I need to remind myself that while I was having fun with Poozer my sister was catching up on sleep, something she hasn’t enjoyed since December 27, 2007 – the day Poozer was born. I need to focus on advancing my career, saving money, and supporting my husband through grad school. I need to stick with the plan and stay on track. I need to forget about that clean, sweet baby smell and the heart flutters I get when Poozer smiles at me or rests her head on my shoulder. I need to remember that it isn’t all fun and games; it is hard work. I do NOT need to be thinking how much sweeter it will be when it is our child smiling at me and grabbing at my heart. Our day will come. Right now, I need to get rid of this baby fever! Looking at these cute pictures is NOT helping!

Glad to have you on my team!

As I mentioned yesterday, I met with an orthopedist. My appointment went well, I didn’t tear anything and I don’t have arthritis or an infection. The frustrating part is that they can’t really explain why my knee swells like a balloon when I stand up, why it is hurts and why, after 10 days, it seems to be getting worse. My doctor prescribed a stronger anti-inflammatory and physical therapy 3 times a week for a month. I may not have any answers but I have a plan (that isn’t to just ice it and stay off of it) and that makes me feel somewhat better.

I haven’t been the most pleasant person to be around. I have been frustrated with my activity restrictions and scared of the diagnosis. When my knee hurts I am cranky and I am stubbornly independent so I won’t allow anyone to fetch me ice, water, etc. HB has been a trooper. He rubs my back when I am scared, reminds me to ice my knee when it starts to swell, and argued with the doctor about his “oh, you’re fine” attitude. He hasn’t received much reward for his support; I mean, I didn’t shave my legs for 7 days! I would like to use this post as a thank you to my husband.

Thank you HB, for your support. Thank you for loving me and my unshaved legs. Thank you for defending me and my swollen knee yesterday. Thank you for fielding phone calls from your Mom. Thank you for taking me to the doctor when my Mom was MIA. (Isn’t it funny how our Mom’s are total opposites?) Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for watching reality television with me. Thank you for being on my team. Thank you for being you. I LOVE YOU!

Did I Shave My Legs for This...

I had an appointment with an orthopedist today. My appointment was fine and my knee will remain attached to my leg. I also had a very funny and eye opening conversation with a friend today. It went something like this:

My cell phone rings:

Me: Hello

M of H: Hellloooo, what are you doing?

Me: Driving to work

M of H: Damn, it’s 10:00. I want your job!

Me: I know, I am late. I’m moving pretty slow because of my knee and I had to shave my leg because I have a doctor’s appointment.

M of H: Leg? As in 1 leg?

Me: Yes, I shaved the bum leg so I don't gross out the Doc.

M of H: I see. So, you will shave, ahem, ONE leg for a doctor but poor HB, only married a year and 3 months and he can't get both legs shaved for him.

…M of H is one of my funnier friends and we had a good laugh about the silliness of my only shaving one leg. Usually I am very good about leg shaving but I have let it slide since my knee injury. So, I came home tonight, shaved my other leg, put on my cute night dress, and pinned my hair back instead of throwing it into a sloppy ponytail. I actually look like a lady tonight instead of the grumpy mess I have been for the past week and a half. But sadly, I am a lonely lady tonight. HB is meeting with his group tonight so they can prepare for their presentation tomorrow. And now I have Deana Cater’s, Did I Shave My Legs for This song in my head. Only, HB is probably the one feeling neglected this week.

Politics Aside

I assure you, this is not a political post. I do not care to reveal that I am a Democrat or Republican, nor will I discuss the issues. This is a post about a 17 year old girl being harshly criticized because she is not married and pregnant, oh, and her Mom is John McCain’s running mate. In a Society that has recently said it’s okay to be young and pregnant without a husband (hello Jessica Alba, Bridget Moynahan, Jamie Lynn Spears, Chrissy from Storked) why are Palin and her daughter under fire? Just last night on 90210 (which I loved, btw!) it was revealed that the adored Kelly Taylor has a child without a husband and no one seemed to care. The media is sending the message that if you are a celebrity or if you are wealthy, it is okay to be husbandless and pregnant BUT if you are the child of a political figure we will slam you. Young Palin’s pregnancy has received more news coverage than the recent hurricane that hit Louisiana. I am disgusted.

I feel as though the Palin family criticism is much harsher than that of Obama or Biden. Everyone was appalled when Michelle Obama said, “This is the first time I have ever been proud of my Country,” and yes, Biden’s son’s hedge fund scandal is equally appalling but they barely made the news and both were quickly forgiven. Since the news of young Palin’s pregnancy it has been sheer ciaos and nothing but a smear campaign on a 17 YEAR OLD! I am still disgusted with the media for calling Chelsea an “Ugly Duckling” when President Clinton went into office. And when George W. came into office the media made the twins out to be alcoholics because they enjoyed margaritas with their college friends – what college freshman doesn’t participate in a little fun with their friends?

In these times it is understood that Liberal reporters are going to be biased against conservatives and conservatives are going to be biased against liberals. But shouldn’t a reporter report the news and not their opinion? Isn’t that their job? Shouldn’t they report facts, not speculation? Is it just me or is the media out of control? The Washington Post covered the Brittany & Paris sagas and now US Weekly is smearing Palin’s family – what is going on here? Is this what the news has become? Do reporters have any character? Any limits? If I were a reporter I would be ashamed of my industry and its culture.

Overall, I think the children of celebrities, political figures or anyone famous for the matter, should be off limits. These children did not choose to be in limelight. Adolescence is hard enough without the criticism of your Country. These children are not running for the Presidency. I want to hear where these candidates stand on the issues. What is Sarah Palin’s economic policy? Will she raise my taxes? Does she want to pull out of Iraq? I want these “reporters” to write about the economy in Alaska. What has she done there? Are the residents there happy with her? I don’t care if her daughter is pregnant. I don’t care if her son and husband are registered as Independents. Talk about the issues. Talk about HER not her family. The same goes for Obama and Biden – leave their families out of it.

Bum Knee

My long weekend was spent in bed, nursing a sore, swollen knee. I wish I had a daring stunt gone wrong tale to explain my injury but there is no explanation. I have no idea why my knee aches and swells up every time I stand up. I have an appointment with an Orthopedist on Thursday but until then I will be icing it every 30 minutes and catching up with my favorite Soap, The Young and the Restless – oh the drama!

As I sit in bed with ice packs, my laptop and daytime television, I should be worried about what is ailing my knee but instead, I am worried about not being able to exercise. Lately, I have been doing so well with my exercise routine and diet. Due to my injury, I completely fell off the wagon this weekend, indulging in burgers, cookies and ice cream - yes, I am blaming my poor eating habits on my knee. With exercise being out of the questions at the moment I am worried that this down time will ruin my healthy lifestyle momentum. The worst part is, when I get bored, I get cranky and usually end up eating to make myself feel better. What am I going to do?!?

Cutting the Cord

Working Girl posted a great blog today. She read this article and blogged about her own financial independence. HB and I often talk about our financial independence and how rare it is in our group of friends. We work very hard to maintain our financial independence and it makes us very proud. We can’t imagine having it any other way. Some people in our lives weren’t pleased with our achieving and maintaining this independence.

Working Girl and the Newsweek article both discuss this generation’s need to remain on their parent’s payroll. While this is true and I have many friends who wouldn’t dream of giving up Daddy’s credit card, I have also seen Parents who don’t encourage their child to be financially independent – in comes financial freedom, out goes control. These parents don’t mind footing the bill for expensive vehicles, nice vacations, high rent and designer clothes when it means they can control where their 25 year old drives, vacations, lives and what they wear. Just as the child is afraid to grow up, the parent is afraid of allowing the child to grow up. This was not the case for me.

When I graduated from college I dove into financial independence head first. Sure, my parents helped me with my security deposits and I held on to their gas card as a “just in case”, but I paid them back every penny I borrowed in six months time. When HB and I got engaged I wrapped up my Dad’s gas card and gave it to him as a gift. They haven’t given us a cent since. Of course, we know we can always go to them if we need something and that is comforting. HB dove into financial independence after college as well. He bought a house, updated and furnished it on his own. His Dad was very encouraging but his Mom Not. So. Much. She is one of those parents who does not like to give up control. She doesn’t want to pay for everything, just a few things to keep you tied to her so the minute you disagree with her she can throw it in your face. She hasn’t taken to our financial independence.

As I type this I am thinking of all of our friends and how only a handful of them are financially independent of their parents. Of our close friends, the ones we talk to almost daily, only 2 of them enjoy financial freedom. The others live beyond their means buying extravagant houses, driving luxury vehicles, wearing designer clothes and traveling to exotic places all on their parent’s dime. It’s sad that they don’t have the confidence to believe they can enjoy their life on their own. It’s sad that their parents won’t let them enjoy their life on their own. For them I hope that one day they will be able to feel the joy that comes along with financial freedom.

Shoe La La!

I am a bad blogger! I promised a birthday recap and I haven’t posted one. The reason: My camera battery is dead so I haven’t been able to take pictures of my goodies, and no good post can be without pictures! All I have to do is plug the camera in and charge the battery but I can’t seem to remember to do it. Maybe this has something to do with my being completely lazy after work and not having the energy to do anything other than change my clothes, wash my face, and mindlessly watch T.V. Maybe I will have more energy tonight.

Instead of blogging about my amazing birthday I have been lusting over the shoes above and trying to convince myself NOT to buy them. NOT BUY THEM, you ask? Well yes, I should not buy these shoes because they are $200 and they are flats (being 5’2 I need some height). But these adorable little shoes keep dancing in my head. I was wearing them in my dream last night – enough said! While sitting in traffic this morning I came up with a list of reasons why I should buy these shoes:

- They are ADORABLE.

- I will wear them leisurely or for work.

- They will go with just about anything.

- They are trendy yet classic.

- I can’t stop thinking about them.

- I work hard and sometimes I should indulge.

I also came up with a list of why I should not buy them:

- They are $200!!! That is A LOT of bones!

- It would be irresponsible of me to buy them.

I don’t know what to do. I am at a loss. I have a shoe obsession!

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, it seems that life isn’t going to slow down any time soon. I will take pictures of my birthday goodies tonight and post a recap of my amazing birthday tomorrow. HB went above and beyond! I can no longer say he doesn’t make a big deal out of birthdays. But today I have something else on my mind. I read this column on glamour.com and I can relate to Jake and Blossom’s dilemma. In fact, HB and I are dealing with the same issues right now.

After Jake confesses to a questionable encounter with a female, his wife, Blossoms, tells him, “I wouldn't want you to keep things from me, but I also don't know that knowing does me, or us, any good. I know what the world is like, what men are like. I guess I want to trust you to tell me when or if there's something I should be worried about.” I tend to agree with her. But, there have been times when HB doesn’t think an encounter is something I should be worried about, I hear about it from someone else, and my imagination runs wild. I wonder why HB didn’t tell me and when it turns out to be innocent then I have to explain to my friends why I was never told. In the end, both HB and I feel bad about the situation. Then there was the time he told me, I got upset, and he ended up feeling bad anyway. I am sure sometimes he feels like he can't win.

I hate the saying “Men will be Men” but they are wired differently. They view sex differently, they view flirting differently, and their lines (as in the line between inappropriate and innocent) are different. There have been times in our relationship when we have debated whether or not one should always be forthcoming. For example, if HB is at a friend’s camp for a “guy’s weekend” and the host invites two girls over so he can have a little rendezvous with them, should HB tell me? HB’s case: I had nothing to do with those girls; I barely even spoke with them. They were there to get freaky with Man-Whore and I didn’t want you to judge him for being a slut. My case: I heard about it from Daddies-Boy’s wife, while I was at work! I was humiliated because I was the only one who didn’t know. Now everyone, including me, is wondering why you didn’t tell me. Do you have something to hide? –We both have valid arguments.

My policy has always been to be honest no matter what. It may hurt to hear the truth but when you find out someone lied to you or withheld something from you the hurt is much greater. And I have learned that the truth always comes out. But sometimes people lie to protect their significant other. Should I tell HB every time someone hits on me, or if a coworker is obviously checking me out or sending me racy jokes? What if HB starts to dislike this coworker and doesn’t want me to work with them anymore? What if something as innocent as me telling HB that I caught a coworker checking out my rack hurts him and gives him anxiety about my work situation? Is it worth being honest?

Again, I tend to think honesty is the policy. If I am honest with HB about said coworker’s inappropriate actions then he and I can be on the same team. If I would keep it to myself, in a strange way, I feel like it puts me and the inappropriate coworker (or whoever it is) on the same team. Does this make sense? Jake’s column has me confused. I feel in my heart that honesty is the best policy but am I just setting myself up for unnecessary anxiety? Do I really need to know about a hot coworker or the sluts at the camp?

How do you handle these situations?

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson

Surprise!!!!

As much as I love surprises, I can’t handle them. You see, my birthday is tomorrow and I know HB is planning something. I originally planned to take advantage of my day off from work by scheduling an oil change, hair cut and a facial. HB advised that I wait. I was going to change these appointments to Saturday but he responded with, “Don’t you want to have the weekend to hang out?” Originally he told me to go ahead and schedule the Saturday oil change but now he is suggesting that I “hang out” over the weekend. His original answer leads me to believe that we will not be leaving town but his most recent “hang out” answer has me curious.

I often criticize HB for not planning surprises. When birthdays and anniversaries roll around I secretly hope that HB will plan a surprise dinner at our favorite restaurant or a romantic getaway. Now that I know a surprise is planned I can’t handle it. It's all I think about. I am reading into everything he says and does trying to gain some clue as to what’s in store for my birthday. I have asked my Mom, my cousin, my friends, anyone I can think of, if they know what he has planned. Everyone says they haven't talked to him! Geez! Friday can’t get here fast enough!

First Impressions

I know first impressions are important. My parents taught me that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but people often do so you should always look put together. As a teenager, I would retort with an eye roll knowing that this is true but not having the life experience to completely understand. Instinctively, I followed their instruction. I wear fairly conservative clothing, mostly have a smile on my face, always have brushed hair and teeth; overall, I would say I look put together and well composed. For the most part, people are very receptive to me. I am very good with first impressions. As an adult, I’ve realized that this is very beneficial.

Obviously, I’ve realized that people are judged by the clothes they wear. Where I am from, the girls in the plaid skirts and polo style shirts are the “rich” private school girls. The girls dressed in all black are the gothic girls. The boys in jeans, doc martins and real Polos are the preppy boys with rich Fathers. The boys in the baggy jeans, big white tennis shoes, silver or gold chains with earrings are the thug boys. As an adolescent people where judged by their clothes. As an adult it goes beyond clothes. Eye contact, fidgeting, confidence, car ornaments, jewelry, facial expressions and much more make up a first impression. For example, many interviewees come through my office each week. My boss introduces me to every one of them and often asks for my opinion. The first thing I notice is confidence. If they are confident yet friendly I usually like them immediately, but if they are confident and cocky I don’t like them. I don’t consider that their cockiness is due to insecurity. (However, my experience has told me that most often, they are just plain cocky)

I pride myself in making a good first impression and when I don’t have a good first impression of someone else I tend to write them off. At times this can be good but there are occasions when I may disregard someone who is simply a shy person or just having a bad day. Going forward I am going to try not to judge people by their cover. I am going to try to go beyond the first bad impression and give them a second chance. I will call them in for a second interview, try saying hi one more time to the rude receptionist, not refer to my an ex-coworker of my husband as ignorant because she thinks it is okay to call him at 9:00 at night for something that could have waited until the morning, and most importantly, I will try to not think of my SIL as a bitch because she never smiles and doesn’t participate in friendly banter – maybe she is insecure.

Even though I pledged not to judge people by their first impressions I am going to have to judge this driver. Anyone who hangs balls off of their hitch is not cool in my book! EW! I had to look at this for 20 minutes on my way to work.

I am back! It has been an odd week at work. I have been busy but bored with my current project. The home front has been equally crazy. HB is busy with work and school AND we are dog sitting for two extremely hyper dogs. The weekend is much needed. I want to thank Kellicious for helping me out yesterday and for her kind words. She is a good friend.

I am still pretty swamped at work and I am trying to get out of here early. Long to do list aside, I still made time to check out my favorite blogs. Sensibly Sassy posted these fun questions today and I am stealing them. Read mine and then check out hers.

What will you improve on next week?

Exercise and eating habits - I fell off the wagon this week. I tend to do that when things get hectic.

What was my biggest accomplishment this week?

I completed the tedious paperwork for a big project at work. Creating files, scanning documents, completing reports, compiling receipts…I need an assistant.

What have you done this week to get you closer to your life's goals?

Other than grocery shopping, I did not shop once. And the only indulgent item I bought at the grocery store was an US Weekly. Those of you who know me know this is huge.

What was hard for me this week and why?

Getting up and going to work. I had a hard time getting out of bed and was late to work every morning this week. I think it had something to do with the boring task ahead of me.

What was my biggest waste of time this week?

Sitting in traffic. I hate being stuck, alone, in a vehicle for 75 minutes with nothing to do.

What did I do that made me ashamed?

I ate a very large hamburger and fries for lunch yesterday.

What did I do this week that made me feel happy?

A few things: I relaxed on the couch with HB and enjoyed every second of alone time we shared.

I accepted an invitation to a baseball game with a person who hurt me and I haven’t seen since. I am having trouble getting over the hurt; hopefully the baseball game will help me let it go.

I spent Monday afternoon with my niece and I was finally able to give her the Bumbo I bought her. She loved it.

I thought about my upcoming birthday and convinced myself to embrace 26.

Have a great weekend!

P.S. The picture is of my niece...of course she wouldn't smile when I had a camera in her face.

Guest Blogger: Kellicious!!!

Hey everyone! I am crazy busy at work. My friend Kellicious will be guest blogging for me today. I gave her my log in and password and this little note but I have NO IDEA what she is going to blog about! Enjoy!

-D.S.

D.S. is swamped at work and with life, so I will be guest blogging today and possibly tomorrow. Let me begin by introducing myself, I am Kellicious. I met D.S. over four years ago in a Communication Theory class. She was the only student to get an A on the first exam but she was too modest to tell the class – the professor ratted her out and her face turned Crimson red. A few weeks later I ran into her in our Advisor’s office, he told us we had a lot in common, we exchanged email addresses and the rest is history.

The pseudonym Delightfully Sassy fits her perfectly. Her friendly personality and classy demeanor make her Delightful and her quick whit makes her Sassy. From the flower in the title to the posts, D. S’s personality shines through this blog. I truly enjoy reading it ….well, most of it. The posts I dislike are about her weight. Listen up readers, D.S. is not being honest when she blogs about her body. If I made a list of every person I know and categorized them from thinnest to heaviest D.S. would be on the thin list. Simply put, she is not bony, she is not flat chested, she has a butt and she has hips, she is 5’2 but often wears heals. My Mother once said that she has a beautiful collarbone. My brother says she is so adorable he could put her in his pocket. My boyish figure would die for her hips and chest. And maybe if I had them, the boys would be calling.

I guess what I am trying to say is the way D.S. sees her body and the reality of it are very different. At least she is only a Debbie Downer about her body on this blog. Until I read it here, I never realized that she didn’t love the way she looks. Isn’t it comical, that the people we think are the prettiest or the people we aspire to be, may have a very different view of their self?

Until the next time,

MelKel, known to D.S. readers as Kellicious

Boomtown II

As you know, I was apprehensive about returning to my hometown but looking forward to my Engaged Friend's party. The apprehension started when Engaged Friend sent a panicked email that read, "You all have to call the new dress place and give them your measurements and a deposit for the dress. The dresses must be ordered TODAY!!! Thanks, Engaged Friend." It immediately annoyed me because I had no idea that she had chosen a new bridesmaid dress, what store to call, how much it was going to cost and I didn't have my measurements. All of this took place mere hours before I was getting in the car to drive to her party in Boomtown. Thankfully the bridal shop owner is a sweetheart and everything worked out. This is so typical of Engaged Friend but I love her anyway.

Engaged Friend's party was fabulous; I didn't run into to any old Boyfriends and, I got to visit some of my favorite places! When I returned home Saturday HB and I had a date night and Sunday we spent the day on the boat. The weekend turned out to be great! Isn't that usually how it works out; when you expect a weekend to suck it turns out to be great?! Here are some more pictures of my hometown and our Sunday Boat Day.

This is a sno-cone from my FAVORITE Sno-Cone Stand. I got Wedding Cake Flavor and loved every. single. bite.

This is my favorite bar/restaurant in Boomtown. The food is not exceptional but the atmosphere is perfect. It's my "Cheers".

I grew up in this house. The picture is off center because I was taking it as I was driving. I tried not to look like a stalker but I think I did....

This is my dog enjoying the boat on Sunday. She LOVES to swim.

How was your weekend?

Favorites from back home...

I am headed to my hometown this weekend to attend an engagement party for my best friend - who just annoyed me, but more on that later. I am preparing myself for run ins with old friends, high school classmates and ex boyfriends. In my hometown, people don't grow up and they never leave. Despite some of the residents, my hometown is a beautiful, and rather fun, place. Here are a few of the things I love about Boomtown:


The Cathedral is a beautiful church on an oak tree covered property. HB was lucky enough to attend this church every week with his school and my engaged friend, with the party this weekend, will be getting married here.


This tiny little burger joint has been delighting residents with their secret sauce since 1947. The burgers are so good, they don't even need to serve fries.


This little area is new to Boomtown but it is my favorite place to shop and grab lunch with old friends.


By far the best donuts I have ever eaten. Nothing compares.


The homes in Boomtown are beautiful! This is one of my favorite. A classmate of mine grew up in this house.

Am I Toned Yet???

Last night, after two years, I returned to Pilates training with a new instructor and new understanding of my body. My new instructor is very knowledgeable and assuring. She made me feel at ease while reacquainting myself with the intimidating machines. She has three of them: The Reformer, The Cadillac, and The Chair (which is by far, the scariest!) As I was working out on these machines I could feel my muscles burning and stretching. By the end of the workout I felt taller – I’m sure it was just my imagination.

Once we began our workout the memories of my previous Pilates training came flooding back. Previously, my sessions were on the Reformer with four coworkers. I was flustered by their experience and abilities on the machine. In the first few sessions I felt self conscious and tried to prove that I too can bring my leg strait up in the air with two blue springs and one red. But I quickly became familiar with the ballerina type movements and everything started to feel natural. I felt strong and acrobatic. My balance and flexibility greatly improved. My favorite thing about Pilates isn’t the elongating of my muscles or the strengthening of my core (but I do LOVE those things) it is being able to have a challenging 60 minute workout without feeling weak and exhausted after. After I complete a Pilates workout I feel longer, more flexible and much stronger. I feel like I could run a mile or lay out by the pool. Even today, while my muscles are sore it doesn’t feel like I beat them.

Here are three things I learned at my session:

• My scoliosis, while minuscule, still has affected my knees and the muscles around my hips and shoulders.

• A woman’s Transversus Abdominus, the deepest abdominal muscle layer, is designed to stretch and cause a “pooch” for baring children. This stretching “feature” in the muscle makes it much more difficult for women to loose the “pooch” after having a child or just simply eating too much. This is one of the reasons why it is much easier for a man to have a flat lower abdomen.

• Slouching and jutting out my chin not only strains the muscles around my neck but it makes me look like a monkey.

It is official, I am obsessed again.

Back to Myself

I will be wearing this dress, in WHITE, made with thin, hip hugging material to a wedding in November. Half of my high school class will be at this wedding. Me, and my hips, will be on alter in this white dress. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating just thinking about it. However, I must thank the dress and my crazy friend who is forcing me and nine other girls to wear it…yes, I typed NINE. Why am I thanking a dress, you ask? I am thanking a dress because it has forced me and my 37 inch hips to get off of our dimply butt and head to the gym.

As I type, my legs ache from Monday’s workout. My days are longer, since I am waking up at 4:45 to head to the gym, but it feels good. My diet has been filled with protein, healthy carbs and veggies – lots of veggies! I haven’t seen a change in my body yet but my attitude is better. I’ve said before that I beat myself up about my weight, lack of exercise and poor food choices but that has changed over the last two weeks. My morning workout encourages me to be healthy all day – mentally and physically. I am proud of myself for my efforts and I don’t spoil it with sweets. I find myself reaching for the almonds instead of a dollar for M&M’s. I guzzle water instead of Diet Coke. I’m not squeezing the skin on my thighs to see if it dimples. I am even attempting private Pilates training – tonight is my first session. I am enjoying this new “feel good about yourself” attitude.

So, thank you little white dress and thank you crazy best friend who would not want to squeeze into this dress either! THANK YOU for pushing me to return to my healthy lifestyle. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.

More on the Pilates training tomorrow…..

10 Things I Did this Weekend

-I slept. Not only did I get 9 hours of sleep on Friday and Saturday night but I also took a 2 hour nap on Saturday. It felt good!

-I bought this dress to wear to an engagement party next weekend. I also went down a dress size!

-I washed 3 loads of laundry.

-I bought this new phone! I am still trying to figure out how to work it.

-Every time I thought about how adorable my husband is I found him and kissed him. I am trying to make this habit.

-I played on Facebook.

-I though about my birthday but not about turning 26. Why does that feel foreign to me?

-I ate cookie dough.

-I went to the neighborhood pool for the first time since we bought our house.

-I put gas in my car.

What did you do this weekend?

P.S. The picture is a boat we saw in Mexico. Dreams....

Funk

I am in a funk this week. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to lunch with my coworker or friends. I don’t want to shop. (HB is pumping his fist in the air as he reads that sentence) Hell, I don’t want to leave the house, or better yet, the couch! I’m not depressed but I am TIRED. It’s more of a mental exhaustion than a physical one. I need three days of naps and girlie movies to snap out of this funk and feel like myself again. BUT, since this is the real world and I have real bills to pay, I can’t do that. Instead, I made a list of things to think about to help me feel rejuvenated.

A massage! I need 90 minutes of warm oil, strong hands and Swedish Bliss!

Flowers! A fresh bouquet to brighten up my office.

Rocky Road Fudge! Yummy! I have been so good with my diet this week but this would be a great treat!

A Swimming Pool! With a good book and SPF 10!

I am feeling better just thinking about those things! What gets you out of a funk?

Party Pooper

I still haven't fully recovered from the 4^th. We had a house (and a boat) full of people all weekend. I feel like I could sleep for a week and still feel tired. Nevertheless, it was worth it! Good food, good fun, good boating, good friends = a GREAT time. We gave this country a birthday party it won't forget. But with every good party comes a good party pooper. And boy, did we have a Pooper. Of course, the Pooper will be what I blog about because let's face it, the drama is much more interesting and I need to vent!

And, the Biggest Party Pooper award goes to ……HB's sister!!! I am going to come right out and say it, she wasn't only a Party Pooper she was a strait up BITCH! At some point during the weekend each of our guests approached HB or I about her behavior. I have blogged about my SIL and her horrible attitude before. Anyone who knows HB's family is well aware of my SIL's rude and often inappropriate outbursts; outbursts that my in-laws often ignore and expect everyone around them to ignore as well. However, in my 6 years of dating HB and being around his family, I have never seen my SIL act as terrible as she acted this weekend. I am utterly embarrassed with her actions and will do my best to keep my friends away from her in the future.

Let me update you on what my SIL has been up to this summer – she has been touring Europe!!! 6 Countries in 30 days, oh, and a long weekend in NY to wrap it up. Once she arrived home she immediately began her search for a new car and an apartment in the nicest area of town – both of which will be paid for by my Father-in-law. The girl should be on cloud nine. Well, she isn't! She spent the entire weekend moping around the house full of 20+ guests. I didn’t see her smile once. When she would emerge from her cave (a.k.a. her room) she would grunt when asked a question or simply roll her eyes and not respond at all. My in-laws spent the weekend making excuses for her behavior, “She is so stressed about starting law school,” “She is still tired from Europe,” “Her tummy is having a hard time adjusting to American food,” were a few I heard. She left us and our guests feeling uncomfortable and unwanted. I am not sure what was worse, her behavior, or the fact that no one called her on it. But I can promise you one thing, HB and I will NEVER bring our friends around her again – which isn’t such a surprise since we all know I have trouble getting over things.

I hope you didn’t have a Party Pooper at your 4^th of July party.

BABIES!!!

Last night HB and I found out that our good friends are STORKED! They're our first close friends (meaning they live near us) to have a baby. I am so excited for them! They are going to make wonderful parents and their child is going to be beautiful – not to mention extremely well dressed! I must admit I was shocked when I heard the news. I always imagined we would have a child first. And, if I am be completely selfish and honest, I am little disappointed that we aren't the first. HB and I are always doing things 2^nd with this group of friends. For example, the STORKED couple, were the first to get engaged (we got engaged 6 months later), they were the first to buy a house (we bought one 2 months after), and now, they are the first to have a child. This is a selfish thought, I know. I really can't wait to meet their bundle of joy!!!!

Is everyone ready for the 4^th?! I know I am!!!!

Want to know a Secret?!?

The secret is: this blog. Two people in my life know about this blog, HB and Kellicious. HB is my husband so of course he knows and Kellicious is a friend from college. She approached me about the blog, convinced me to do it and is a constant inspiration in keeping it going. They are both very supportive – which is a big deal for HB because he is a VERY private person. Originally I decided not to tell my friends or my family. I want this blog to be a place where I can be completely honest about my feelings and happenings in my life without having to worry if I am offending a loved one. I am beginning to question my decision. I would hate for a friend or family member to come across the blog, figure out it is written by me and think that I intentionally kept it from them. More importantly, I would hate for them to read it and take offense to something I wrote.

In all actuality, the chances of a friend or family member stumbling across my blog are slim to none. But I still can’t shake the debate in my head: to tell vs. to not tell?!?!?! I know HB would say, “DON’T TELL!” and Kellicious would say, “You would get more hits!” but I am conflicted. I am an open book with my friends. They know when I am upset, happy, fed up with my sister-in-law, mad, bored, annoyed with work, depressed, hating my mother, going to slap my mother-in-law, disowning my sister, feeling fat, and every other feeling that I’ve felt. I don’t think they would be surprised with the things I write on this blog. Now, my family and HB’s family, they are a different story. My Mother, the queen of guilt trips, would tell me that I have embarrassed the family; my Mother-in-law, who treats my sister-in-law like she is baby Jesus, would never speak to me again, and my Sister-in-law would give me more attitude than I can handle – and trust me, she dishes out enough already.

This blog is me, my personality, my thoughts, my feelings, my insecurities, my obstacles, my dreams…if they didn’t like it I would feel like they didn’t like me. What would you do? Would you tell?

I heart America!

In honor of America and the upcoming 4^th of July festivities here are a few reasons why I LOVE this Country!

- Freedom of Speech: I can write whatever I choose on this blog or I can shout it from the roof tops. I can tell anyone who will listen that I like or dislike the President or the Speaker of the House. Hell, I can even lie about them if I want – all of the newspapers do! I can voice my opinion of any person, product, celebrity, alien, movie, law…anything, with out persecution. Freedom of Speech is one of the greatest Rights we have as Americans.

- Loyalty: The United States is loyal to its citizens. When I was in a child two men from my home town went hunting in Southwest Texas. They illegally crossed into Mexico with their firearms. They knew better but they had big egos and one of them had a rich Daddy so they thought they would get away with it. They were arrested and held in a Mexican prison for months. Nothing was going to get these boys out of prison; not even a rich Daddy. The United States government got involved and the boys were eventually released. We take care of own!

-Being the Best: Remember the girl in middle school who got boobs, or was allowed to shave her legs, or pierce her ears before anyone else. Remember how all of the other girls would gather together and say mean things about her new lady lumps, or her silky smooth legs, and holey ear lobes when really we were all wishing it was us sporting the AAA white cotton training bra. That is America; we are the first to have boobs! We have silky smooth legs and holes in our ear lobes and they hate us for it! We are a young, magnificent Country! They hate that we are strong. They envy our freedom. They want to take us down but we are the best and they can’t.

-Our Founding Fathers: Their wisdom, their vision, their dedication to a better future for all Americans. I wonder what they think of us now. I wonder if they are proud. I hope so.

I am proud to be an American!

Your worth in weight

I can’t stop thinking about this blog that I read today (GO Margarita! I love your blog!!!). In the blog Margarita says a part of her feels that her worth in the universe is measured in pounds. She goes on to question if she will always be plagued by the thought of calorie burning and forbidden foods. She compares once-being-overweight to once- an-alcoholic and wonders if she will always be in recovery. I can relate to this blog on so many levels!!! Now, I do not have an “overweight” problem but I do have a “weight/ image” problem, meaning, I am obsessed with it! I think about weight, calories, being fit, working out, my thighs, cellulite, and what I should and should not eat, All. The. Time. I have become obsessed and it is making me miserable!

Margarita was unhappy with her body so she has made a transformation in the way she lives. She goes to the gym every morning and she has changed her diet. I am unhappy with my body but I have done NOTHING to change it. I go to the gym on average twice a week and I have yet to give up the mini chocolate bars that I inhale after my chicken and veggies dinner. HB and I tend to live a semi healthy lifestyle. Egg white omelets for breakfast, turkey sandwich or a salad for lunch, chicken at least 4 nights a week... We have substituted ground turkey for ground beef…you will never find white bread in our house…we drink LOTS of water…I take the stairs at work - Overall we are healthy but I haven't lost one pound.

I, like Margarita, have that deep feeling in my gut that SCREAMS that my worth is measured in pounds. Or better yet, muscle vs. cellulite. I don’t go by weight because I am only a few pounds heavier than I was when I was in great shape. I may be only a few pounds heavier but I am a size larger, my clothes don’t fit as well, and my thighs jiggle more than ever before. I am obsessed with the way I look – and not in a can’t stop admiring myself, way. I am obsessed in a count every calorie, hate to be naked, scold myself for days after eating pizza, cringe while putting on a swimsuit, would make myself vomit if I didn’t hate to do it, kind of way. But yet, I didn’t go to the gym this morning and probably will not go tonight. It is a vicious cycle and I need a pint of ice cream to get over it.

Oh, and the worst part, HB and I are having a lake party for the 4^th. Our hometown friends are coming. One of them is 5’5, 105 pounds and the type of girl who will point out the dimples on my thighs - only she will do it behind my back. FUN! Maybe the stress of it all will help me shed a few pounds!!!! ;-)

The Friday Feeling

Ahhhhh Fridays. I tingle with excitement and feel like I am back in elementary school when Friday rolls around. It's my day to eat hamburgers, pizza, cupcakes and snow cones without consequence. It's a day for slumber parties and staying up late. It's movie night with a bucket of popcorn and Milk Duds. People go on dates or have an extra long happy hour with their friends and coworkers. Work attire is casual and the day ends around 2:00. Everyone tends to be happier on Fridays. I LOVE FRIDAYS!

In honor of my love of Friday's I am going to start a new Friday theme. An, "I want" theme. A "gift idea" theme. A "travel idea" theme. A "fantasy" theme. It will be casual, light hearted and fun...just like Fridays!

Today I am going to list a few things I want for my birthday. Now, my birthday is over a month away BUT HB needs weeks of hints and weeks to get over the sticker price. You see, HB's birthday is on Christmas Day so he doesn't really believe in above and beyond, unbelievable, knock your socks off, birthday gifts. But, I do! For HB's birthday I got him a Mac Mini. I went above and beyond. I knocked his socks off. So here is my list:

Unbelievable gift #1: A bike. I've wanted to get into biking for a while now. From what I read, this bike is perfect for beginners. My favorite thing about it (besides the cute color) is that it doesn't have the pedals that lock your feet in - those freak me out!!! Hopefully I will be able to work my way up to them.

Above and Beyond gift #2: 2.4 GHz MacBook. Who doesn't want a Mac? They are beyond awesome. This is a little unreasonable for a birthday gift and I considered not putting it on here at all. But, I classified it as "above and beyond" and threw it on the list. Honestly, I would be just as happy with the bike or the jewelry.

Knock Your Socks Off gift #3: Any of these rings. This Cushion-Cut Sapphire is gorgeous and perfectly dainty for my tiny fingers. Or this stunning Emerald ring that has a delicate antique look. And, I keep going back to this simple and classy Sapphire ring. And finally, there will always be a place in my heart for the Yurman ring that I have drooled over for the past six months.

There it is, my Fabulous Friday list. I would love to hear what's on your fabulous Friday list.

Have a great Friday,

D. S.