Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Want to know a Secret?!?


The secret is: this blog. Two people in my life know about this blog, HB and Kellicious. HB is my husband so of course he knows and Kellicious is a friend from college. She approached me about the blog, convinced me to do it and is a constant inspiration in keeping it going. They are both very supportive – which is a big deal for HB because he is a VERY private person. Originally I decided not to tell my friends or my family. I want this blog to be a place where I can be completely honest about my feelings and happenings in my life without having to worry if I am offending a loved one. I am beginning to question my decision. I would hate for a friend or family member to come across the blog, figure out it is written by me and think that I intentionally kept it from them. More importantly, I would hate for them to read it and take offense to something I wrote.

In all actuality, the chances of a friend or family member stumbling across my blog are slim to none. But I still can’t shake the debate in my head: to tell vs. to not tell?!?!?! I know HB would say, “DON’T TELL!” and Kellicious would say, “You would get more hits!” but I am conflicted. I am an open book with my friends. They know when I am upset, happy, fed up with my sister-in-law, mad, bored, annoyed with work, depressed, hating my mother, going to slap my mother-in-law, disowning my sister, feeling fat, and every other feeling that I’ve felt. I don’t think they would be surprised with the things I write on this blog. Now, my family and HB’s family, they are a different story. My Mother, the queen of guilt trips, would tell me that I have embarrassed the family; my Mother-in-law, who treats my sister-in-law like she is baby Jesus, would never speak to me again, and my Sister-in-law would give me more attitude than I can handle – and trust me, she dishes out enough already.

This blog is me, my personality, my thoughts, my feelings, my insecurities, my obstacles, my dreams…if they didn’t like it I would feel like they didn’t like me. What would you do? Would you tell?

1 comment:

CC said...

i told my friends and family and now i struggle with holding things back. there is so much i want to say and i always stop and think about who's feelings it's going to hurt. i'm now thinking about starting a new annonymous blog for when i need to vent and keeping the other one for my friends and family to read......