To Be Upset, To Not Be Upset....

HB and I have our one year wedding anniversary this weekend. A year ago, I had my entire family in town and I was running around like a crazy person. A year ago, I was getting my first Brazilian bikini wax (OUCH!). A year ago, I was more excited about the honeymoon than I was about the wedding reception. Now, I can’t believe we have been married a year. Now, I am more than ready for our anniversary trip. Now, I am wondering why HB isn’t doing more to honor the date.

First let me tell you a little about HB. He is a WONDERFUL Husband. He does the little things: brings me coffee almost every morning, calls to check on me, rubs my back after a hard day, tells me I am pretty, kisses me every morning, he listens to me bitch about my day, gives great advice, gives hugs, and many I love yous.

He has the day to day sweet nothings down.

It is the big occasions where he could use some help. On any given Saturday, HB will wake up and offer to go shopping with me in a cool part of town. Or, he will plan dinner at our favorite restaurant and take me to the new, trendy wine bar. And then, my birthday will roll around and he doesn’t even mention taking me breakfast or lunch and will call me a few hours before dinner to ask what I want to do. HUH? What happened to guy who made plans to go to the wine bar a few weeks ago? Where did he go? I want him back for my birthday.

This is happening with our anniversary. A couple of months ago we planned a trip to Mexico to celebrate our anniversary. For various reasons we won’t be able to be there on our actual anniversary. Maybe it is just me and my fairytale dreams or maybe it is due to the fact that my friends who are getting engaged right now have UNBELIEVABLE fairytale stories, but I was expecting us to do something special on the day of our anniversary – even though we don’t leave for our trip until two days later.

It started this morning. Our conversation goes like this:

Me: “We talked about going to T. B. for dinner on our anniversary, do you want me to call and make the reservation?”

HB: “Oh, I forgot we talked about that. I asked Easy if he wants to spend the day in the boat. Do you want me to tell him I can’t because it is our anniversary?”

Me: “Um, no, that’s fine. You should go skiing.” I say out loud but starting to feel sorry for myself and cry on the inside. After all, I don't want to have to ask him to celebrate with me.

I am really upset by this and I actually cried on the way to work. I cannot believe that he isn’t planning a romantic dinner but really, I can’t believe he doesn’t find anything wrong with spending our FIRST anniversary with Easy and not me. We talk about it later and he is going to make dinner reservations …I was included in the boat thing with Easy so that means he did want to spend time with me ….He thought our trip was what we were doing for our anniversary…

He said he was sorry. He is going to try to make it better. I am still upset.

Am I out of line? Are my expectations too high? Am I setting myself up for disappointment?

If HB really wants to surprise me, he could buy me this. ;-)